As I spent  a long time with bills yesterday, and in particular taxes, I had to reflect on choices.  Sending money that we NEED to pay taxes to the great void, really, really hurts.  Now, when receiving a paycheck, many people pay monthly and only see their net.  Self employed people have the great good fortune to pay more on a quarterly basis for the privilege of being self-employed so that taxes can be given to the masses of “needy” as well as bailouts, political favors, president travels-vacations-dinners-parties-salaries-benefits, you name it.  Ironically, when I was young, being a teacher was considered a thankless job.  Now, with retirement benefits galore, health benefits to die for, and much less education required, let’s face it, union jobs are the way to go.  My dad had a manufacturing company for a while and I worked there briefly.  I overheard some ladies in the bathroom talking about how fun it would be to try to go on strike as their husbands worked for Mack Truck and had done so frequently.  Were they dissatisfied with anything? no, just wanted to try it.  So they did.  Luckily, I was a scab and proud of it.  I’m am seriously tired of public school teachers being considered so anything.  When our son was in kindergarten in public school, I volunteered and was sitting in the library working when a teacher came in with a class of 3rd graders, the first words out of her mouth were “where are you AT?”  I was really bothered.  My mother was an English teacher and we were raised very correctly in our use of grammar.  I strongly believe that grade school is such a formative time that a teacher should be carefully trained in grammar.  But, hey, in today’s world, who needs to use proper grammar?  If enough people say it incorrectly, it becomes correct, I guess.  Although it grates to pay school taxes and send our son to Catholic school, we are so blessed to be able to do so.  The teachers may get paid less but they are actually dedicated to their profession and actually treat it like the profession it used to be.  Union jobs with guaranteed income, guaranteed retirements, guaranteed benefits, seems to be the easier choice it today’s world.  Unions made sense to me when it was a matter of life and death.  Talk about a roundabout bitch session.  I’ll probably do it again in April for the next quarterly round.

Really, how many families have disputes about who should be honored with the job of executor in a will?  After a client died recently, as his lawyer over the years and his power of attorney, my husband was also his executor.  He had no close family and his wife predeceased him.  Although he was living in a small cottage at an adult community, we were given the task of cleaning out everything.  Holy cow!  First, although his wife died several years ago and had spent her last years in the nursing home, her personal items were still in evidence.  We’d spent some small time previously starting the task, but we spent 6 full hours bagging, trashing, sorting, hauling.  We’re still not done.  And this is someone who arguably didn’t have that much stuff.  I look at all of our crap and pity our only child.  When we sell this house and move, I know we’ll pair down a lot but I also know we won’t be getting rid of a lot.  Think of the junk drawers, bathroom cabinets, laundry crap, and for those of us with homes, attics, basements.  So, it’s funny that people vie for the “honor” of having to sort through a lifetime of accumulations.  With the emotions of family added in, it would make the job even worse.  I could almost sense our former client chuckling about the fact that he didn’t have to deal with it himself.  He was a good man and lived a good life but his last years were a bit dusty.

Another shower spent obsessing about why the media tries to tear down Christianity and why we let them?  Why is atheism a “religion” to anyone?  Why do people care about Tim Tebow’s method of praising God?  I choose to believe that Tim Tebow is an honest Christian, thanking God for his ability to play football.  If he’s a hypocrit, who cares?  I don’t think he is because all of the hype comes from people analyzing his behavior as opposed to talking with him.  When I’ve heard him interviewed, he sounds like the fun young man he appears to be.  Before the Steelers game, he said he had watched these Steelers players for years and now he got to play against them–”it’ll be fun.”  I thought they’d kill him but the Broncos won and he had fun.  Anyway, bottomline, all of us are going to die at some point.  No argument whatsoever.  So, if we all are headed toward death, how do people with no beliefs or hypocrits who don’t live true to their beliefs, face death?  I’ve never been to Heaven and I don’t know whether or not it exists but I’m not willing to throw caution to the wind.  I can’t figure how life can be lived without something in the way of faith.  Even if you amass wealth, power, influence, whatever, at whatever cost to your morals, you still die and then what? I am not a very great Christian by any means but I still try.  Death scares me, whether a total lack and end in blackness or reborn into a golden Heaven, I don’t know, but I’d like to think there is something–it’s a control thing, I guess. When Sauros(?), Pelosi, Reed and the rest eventually die, what’s the point of all of their political posturing and self-interest?  If they destroy this country, does it provide for their families in some way?  I just really don’t get it.  Herman Cain was obliterated for an alleged incident of minor “sexual” harassment, whereas Bill Clinton was forgiven for a verified rape and sexual misconduct and adultery in the Oval Office of the White House, among other things, why?  It all goes back to media bias and misuse–but I’ll never understand the end goal because no matter what we do, we all must die eventually and at that point, what’s the point?

It’s Friday the 13th and I’m feeling a continuing bitch session so what better place than a public diary.  As a cancer survivor, I’m sorry but I don’t want to wear a ribbon, walk miles, talk about ta ta’s (of course, mine was throat cancer but who’s counting) and have a bald Barbie.  Yes, I had radiation and lost hair.  Fortunately, I avoided chemo but I spent weeks sick as a dog, swollen up face, missing hair, miserable.  A bald doll wouldn’t have made me feel better or more beautiful or anything.  If you want a bald Barbie, cut off her hair.  Breast cancer is NOT the only cancer out there so why is it the most publicized?  Those of us with breasts are always scared of cancer but let me tell you that any cancer is seriously scary and horrible.  I don’t want to relive it by wearing stuff, waving banners, and pasting it all over my car.  My huge neck dissection and numbness is enough of a reminder.  I’m sure every person dealing with cancer doesn’t really feel like becoming a poster child for the disease.  It sucks!  Ironically, speaking of poster child, I was briefly involved in the prep for a Relay for Life team and was told I was the only involved person who’d actually had cancer.  Whoo hoo, aren’t I the lucky one!  Cancer is a continuing fear to me which prompts me to take medication to deal with the anxiety.  I don’t need constant in your face reminders of the seriousness of the disease.  Every cure they come up with deals with some cancers but not others.  We all carry dormant cancer cells in our bodies but they don’t always become active.  That is scary.  So leave Barbie alone.  All the criticism over the years over Barbie’s voluptuous figure and too thin body as a bad thing, and now we have to cut her hair off to allow sick girls to feel more beautiful?  I don’t think so.  I loved Barbie as she is and love her hair as it is.  Those of you who haven’t had cancer please give all the money you want to finding a cure but quit spouting about it so much.  Those of us who have had cancer and survived, let’s just thank God that we survived and try to enjoy whatever life we have left.